I was listening

Holding on to your hand and listening at the same time to your heart.
















Moms and dads are so excited when they hold their little ones for the first time and when they say their first words. That usually does not happen at the same time but for us it did. When Susan was placed in our arms she had just turned eight and she knew I was "Mama" and she melted her dad's heart when she looked at him and said "my Papa". Until that day, she had never seen us and the orphanage that was her home in Russia was filled with children hoping their parents would find them soon. A few days later, we brought her and her older brother Chris to their new home in Arizona. There were so many things they had not experienced before and I was listening to their chatter in Russian as we tried to get them accustomed to their new home. They were given American names because I had difficulty pronouncing Chris's Russian name. They were named with the help of their older brother, Scott, who was waiting for them at home. Christopher was chosen because it means "courage" and we knew it would take a lot of courage for this young man to trust us and accept us as his family. Susan has a beautiful Russian name of Alenia but she became Susan to honor me (my middle name is Sue), my mom (Susan is translated from the name Lilie which was my mom's name) and a dear friend whose name was Susan. Just as you would take thought of what to you choose to name a new-born, we took time in choosing their names with love. No, they did not grow in my body but they grew in my heart. I have so many stories in my heart about both of them but today is about Susan.

For Christmas, they both got bikes and Susan was so excited when she gained her balance and was able to ride without training wheels. We had a routine we did every day with some home schooling followed by outside play. Everything we did, I spoke to them in English of what it was along with sentences that matched the activity. We learned, "please open the door" and "please shut the door" as we went outside. The bikes were kept behind a locked gate. They would push the bike to the gate and I would open it from the other side. One day Susan said her first sentence without prompting! "Please open the gate". She understood! They were not just words to her. She understood what she was asking. My heart leaped inside my chest the way a mom does when she hears "mama" for the first time or sees her baby take their first step.

Last month, Susan came to me and said "Mom there is a Beth Moore study at church coming. Will you go with me?" I recently had surgery and was still in recovery but I agreed to do this for both our enjoyment. We are on our third week of class and each week we can hardly wait until the next week. This morning she was getting dressed to go to work. My baby girl recently turned twenty and is all grown up but I saw a different smile and peace on her face. I heard the unspoken words of my beautiful daughter "please open the gate of my heart". Thank you, Lord, for letting me be on the other side of the gate when she was ready to explore life with her bike to bring her safely across the walk. Thank you for that day. Now I see that she is the same little girl that I held for the first time so many years ago but she has grown into a young woman. Thank you for allowing me to serve you as her mom and letting me be on the same side of the gate with her as she explored You. When she was small, I listened for the words from her mouth and now I listen for the words from her heart. Every sleepless night, every tear I cried and every moment I doubted myself but went forward, this moment was worth it all. I am truly blessed.

Romans 8:37 "yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us".

Love,

Nana